


Warped Reflections

by allislaughter



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Established Relationship, M/M, POV Third Person, Past Tense, Poetry, Post-Episode: s02e04 Mirror Mirror, Vulcan Mind Melds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27251992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allislaughter/pseuds/allislaughter
Summary: After the visit to the mirror universe, McCoy starts to exhibit strange behavior. After every ion storm passes, he finds himself staring into a mirror without knowing why. Spock suspects it may have something to do with the mind meld his mirror self forced on McCoy. But as evidence starts building, it's clear there's something more to this than what they know.See Author's Note at beginning for fic status
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic I started in 2013 and never shared that I have since lost steam for. It's unlikely that I'll finish it, but I still felt that after so many years it should at least find it's place on the archive, unfinished or not. I'll post chapters till I catch up with what I have written every now and then over the next several days, at which point I'll have another author's note stating that that's where I left off. If I ever decide to come back to this, I'll edit the author's notes/tags to reflect that (haha puns).
> 
> As this story was written in 2013, it is not representative of my current writing style/quality, and I only did minor editing to prep it for posting. However, most of my Star Trek fics were written around the same time as this, so if you enjoy what I have for this one, feel free to see if any of those suit your fancy as well. Thank you!

_What darkness in the mirror lies, when light reflects back to my eyes?_ _  
_ _Blue and squinting, judging, fearing that my reflection is in disguise._   
_But as I stare, I cannot see_ _  
What my reflection fears of me._

The ship had passed out of the ion storm safely an hour ago with only minor injuries amongst the crew, all of whom had been cared for dutifully by the medical staff. Kirk hovered by the entrance to Sickbay, just as the last patient walked out, the two of them sharing a nod as they passed, and Nurse Chapel took a step out a moment later to signal for the captain to enter.

“He’s doing it again,” Nurse Chapel whispered, guiding Kirk to a particular office. She stared at the door and shook her head. “Every ion storm, as soon as it’s over and we’ve taken care of everyone. I don’t understand it.”

“I think I do,” Kirk answered, nodding. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him about it. I should have sooner, but... Has Spock come into Sickbay lately, by the way?”

“Not recently, though he is scheduled for a physical examination sometime soon. Doctor McCoy said he’d take care of it.”

“Alright. Thank you, Nurse.” Kirk nodded and then carefully opened the office door. He glanced around the room, noting the familiar layout of McCoy’s office just as he had seen it many times before, save for the addition of a mirror in the corner of the room that the resident CMO stared into intently.

Kirk ran his tongue over his bottom lip before biting it, watching as McCoy’s hands lifted to the mirror to meet with their reflection. One hand pulled at the bag of skin under an eye, widening the eye to give McCoy a better look into it, and the other hand gripped at his tousled hair. Kirk cleared his throat, and McCoy gave a start. The doctor dropped his hands and spun around, sputtering and glaring at Kirk.

“What are you doing, Jim?” he demanded, arms crossed over his chest.

Kirk smiled, his eyebrows waggling as he motioned to the mirror. “Didn’t think you’d be so vain, Bones.”

McCoy took a rapid glance at the mirror before pulling it down from the wall and setting it on the floor, the reflective side hidden away. “What can I do for you, Jim?”

Kirk waltzed in, pulling up a chair and sitting backwards in it while McCoy leaned against his desk, the two facing each other silently. A small smile graced Kirk’s lips while McCoy frowned pensively at the floor, the silence between them growing stronger and more tense until McCoy risked lifting his gaze.

“Well?” he asked, his brows knitted together in concern.

Kirk’s smile faded to form his own concern, and he sighed, his eyes darting to the mirror before looking back at McCoy. “Nurse Chapel noticed you’ve been staring at that thing after each ion storm lately. Now, I can’t help but wonder if this behavior started after a particular transporter incident during a certain ion storm?”

McCoy lifted an eyebrow stoically, a perfect match for one of Spock’s own reactions when encountering an “illogical question”. Kirk straightened his back, frowning, but listened to the doctor’s answer.

“It did, but not because of that incident,” McCoy replied, shoulders dropping in a shrug. “Just so happens I’ve been trying to keep an eye on my stress. It’s worrying enough without you all falling over every ion storm.” 

The captain hummed, looking over McCoy carefully, allowing for as much pause as he could to see just how the doctor would respond. McCoy’s hands twitched and one brushed over the opposite wrist before they pushed down on the desk, propelling him up and towards the mirror, which he hung once again. His gaze lingered into the reflection again before turning towards Kirk and bowing his head, shaking it as he mumbled something about the captain trying to mess with him.

“Are you sure our health is what has stressed you lately?” Kirk pressed on at last, rising to his feet.

“I’m a doctor,” McCoy answered, glaring up at Kirk indignantly. “I’m supposed to worry about your health.”

“Like you worried about that Mirror Spock’s health,” Kirk surmised. McCoy’s sudden flinch preceded a frantic shake of the head, and Kirk furrowed his brow. He took a tentative step forward, but stopped when McCoy retreated an equal step back. “Bones,” Kirk uttered softly, not quite a whisper but gentle, careful. “I know what happened...”

McCoy responded with a snort and nothing more.

“No, really,” Kirk continued. “I probably know more than you realize. I just didn’t want to bring it up until you were ready, but I see now that won’t happen.”

“But I don’t think you _understand,_ Jim,” McCoy insisted. “You don’t need to worry. I’ve been seeing Spock about this, but...”

Kirk glanced up quickly, searching McCoy’s face closely, his eyes squinting at the sincerity. “You’re seeing Spock about this? Willingly?”

McCoy lifted his brow again, this time one emotion riddling the look: confusion. “Of course. There’s no one else to see; he’s the only Vulcan on the ship.”

“But after what his counterpart did... Given their similarities I would have thought...”

“I told you that you don’t understand,” McCoy interrupted. “Their similarities are exactly why I’m seeing Spock.”

Kirk’s eyes widened, and he nearly jumped back. “I see. I believe I should talk to Mister Spock about this as well.”

McCoy stared for a moment, mouth opening and closing in a few false starts before he got even one syllable out. “...Why?”

“I have my reasons,” Kirk answered, disarming McCoy with a smile. “I believe it’d be useful for him to know... For the sake of scientific study, that is. Since he’s our science officer.”

The doctor eyed Kirk warily before shrugging and waving his hand in defeat. “Sure, fine, but I’d like to know too at some point. Whatever it is you’re telling Spock and not me. What _are_ you telling Spock?”

“Just something about the Mirror Universe that I never took into account before now.” Kirk grinned comfortingly at McCoy. “I just want a second opinion on it. Take care, Bones.”

Kirk left without another word and soon found Spock in his quarters. “Quite the ion storm we had,” he greeted once Spock let him inside.

Spock raised his eyebrow, the perfect stoicness suited better on a Vulcan than on a human like McCoy. “Captain,” Spock greeted. “The ion storm was a typical one, resulting in only minor injuries that I estimate should have been completely taken care of ten minutes and thirty-two seconds ago.”

“Physical injuries, perhaps.” Kirk bobbed his head in agreement and smiled cordially.

The Vulcan paused for a moment. “Do you believe there to be mental injuries resulting from the storm?”

“Not this storm in particular, but brought up again due to it...” Kirk looked up, locking eyes with Spock. “Doctor McCoy says he’s been seeing you about what happened in the Mirror Universe.”

“Ah, yes,” Spock nodded and motioned for Kirk to sit across from him at his desk. “Our sessions have thus far been private... What Doctor McCoy went through is a most heinous crime on my planet. I assume you know just what my counterpart did to him?”

“I can hazard a guess,” Kirk answered, sighing. “I don’t think he realizes just how much Uhura, Scotty, and I noticed how he was acting when your counterpart brought him into the transporter room. He seemed... almost hollow, and Scotty even had to support him to keep him standing. He didn’t even seem happy to be back home when we saw you. I almost wonder why he was comfortable enough to make jokes about your counterpart so soon after.”

“Merely a human coping mechanism,” Spock replied. “He has certainly improved, however I feel there is something I’ve been neglecting to address during our sessions.”

Kirk shrugged and shook his head. “I’ll respect both of your privacy in that subject. But, Nurse Chapel has found McCoy staring into a mirror after each ion storm we encounter.”

“Oh...? I will have to ask what prompts such illogical behavior. Other than you referring to the parallel universe as ‘mirror’, there should be no reason to associate mirrors with ion storms.”

Humming, Kirk nodded and then opened his mouth, hesitating before speaking again. “There was something else McCoy mentioned... That the reason he is willingly seeing you after what happened with your counterpart is because of your similarities and... Well...”

“Captain?” Spock questioned.

“I noticed...” Kirk thought over his words carefully. “The Halkans in that alternate universe were peaceful like the ones in ours. Even with humans being barbarians, with you having a beard, even with all the other differences in that world, what made it that the Halkans still sought peace, something that didn’t change between two parallel universes?”

Spock furrowed his brow, lips pursing as he went over the question in his mind. “It’s reasonable to think, in that case, that our two universes are not as ‘mirrored’ as we initially believed.”

“It seems to extend to more than just the Halkans, however,” Kirk continued. “Or so I can only assume from my end. Spock, you had contact with our counterparts. What was the other McCoy like?”

“He appeared... well-adapted to the universe he came from,” Spock replied carefully. “However, there were various traits that in some ways were identical to our doctor.”

“Yes, so I suspected,” Kirk mused. “The other McCoy had spilt acid in the exact same spot as our McCoy. And then with what your counterpart said about his McCoy...”

“Oh?” The Vulcan leaned closer by a fraction of an inch, nearly unnoticeably. “And what did he say...?”

“He referred to his McCoy as sentimental, soft...” Kirk rubbed his chin as he thought back to that quick moment. “He was going to seek out McCoy for answers before we managed to knock him out.”

“And before he simply forced the answers from Doctor McCoy,” Spock concluded.

Kirk took in a deep breath and let it out quickly. “I think that Bones knows... He knows that his counterpart is so similar to him, and he suspects that yours is similar to you as well.”

“It is a reasonable assumption,” Spock agreed. “My counterpart appears to work based on logic, and what is logical in our universe is not necessarily logical for theirs and vice versa due to the different natures and developments of our worlds. While I do not approve, I cannot argue that for the ethics and typical reactions in the mirror universe, my counterpart may have felt his choice of actions to be the most logical.”

He swallowed and watched Spock for a long moment. “Spock...” He furrowed his brow and frowned his concern. “What do you suppose McCoy is looking for in that mirror of his?”

“I will have to question him to know for sure,” the Vulcan answered. “However, given Doctor McCoy’s inclination for sentimentality, I have my doubts he will have a logical reason for his actions.”

“Very well, Mister Spock,” Kirk nodded. “I’ll see you on the bridge tomorrow morning.”

“Sleep well, Captain,” Spock replied.

Kirk smiled and left the room, heading for his own quarters for the night.


	2. Chapter 2

_The thing about mirrors is that they shatter and break_ _  
_ _Instead of tell lies or reflect something fake._   
_What you see in the shards is always what you are,_ _  
And how you perceive it shows what you may mar._

Spock meditated on the information the captain had given him. He had assumed from Kirk and McCoy’s comments when they returned from the parallel universe that his own counterpart was similar in drive to himself. While the humans were reflections of each other in personality, being inclined towards peace on their end and violence on the other, Spock’s counterpart seemed to utilize the same Vulcan logic as he did, albeit modified for the nature of the universe he resided in. Even his counterpart’s display of facial hair could have a logical meaning behind it if it added for intimidation, a useful trait in that world, and so Spock knew he and his counterpart were similar in that regard.

He even found that if they had been part of the landing party and had switched places when the others did, they would likely be able to fit into each others’ universes with ease, if his counterpart was as similar to him as implied.

However, the knowledge that the Halkans were just as peaceful in the mirror universe as in their own was unexpected. Spock and his counterpart could be similarly explained by logic not being a personality trait but rather a tool necessary to achieve the similar ranks they had, but peaceful tendencies were a part of one’s nature. For the Halkans to be the same in that regard between both universes showed that not everything in the mirror universe was in fact mirrored or even adapted to a harsher environment. Surely if the Halkans were adapted to a mirrored world, then they would have had some military forces to fend off that version of the Enterprise. It was fascinating to think that wasn’t the case.

With Doctor McCoy, however, the captain was correct in that the other McCoy seemed kinder than the other three in the landing party, though he had been more closed off and gruff than their McCoy, another reasonable trait for one of that universe. They had caught him due to his oddities and surprise at the differences between their universes rather than strictly due to his behavior unlike the others of his landing party.

Even so, there should have been no reason for their McCoy to suspect his counterpart was so similar to him, for a mere acid stain being his only evidence was not sufficient enough to prove this. Perhaps it was something Spock’s counterpart did during the forced mind meld, or perhaps Doctor McCoy was just assuming things. Either way, that did not explain the doctor’s desire to stare into a mirror after each ion storm.

Perhaps he was hiding something...

A knock roused him from his thoughts, though he did not let the surprise display on his face, keeping stoic as he uttered a simple “Enter.” The doctor himself walked into the room, glancing around nervously before letting his nervous blue eyes land on the Vulcan.

“Spock...” McCoy paused for a moment and then shook his head, sighing. “Did you talk to Jim about something...?”

“Yes,” he answered. The silence dragged on for a moment with McCoy staring at Spock, and Spock lifted an eyebrow in response. “Did you desire to know what we said in our conversation?”

“Whatever made you think that?” the doctor mumbled under his breath. He looked up and nodded, sighing once more. “Yeah, that’d be nice to know.”

Spock nodded and waited for McCoy to sit before him. “The Captain brought to my attention how similar the Halkans were in our universe and the parallel universe.”

McCoy lifted his brow, frowning. “Yeah? That doesn’t seem like something to...”

“He also brought to my attention how similar you are to your counterpart and he mentioned that you have been staring into a mirror after each ion storm we pass.”

The human pulled back in a flinch and licked his lips, staring at the decor of Spock’s room rather than at Spock himself. “...Is that so?”

“The captain suspects you somehow know you and your counterpart are similar?” Spock queried, watching McCoy for his no doubt emotional answer.

McCoy dropped his shoulders and shook his head. “Well, what does it matter if I do? It’s not like my mirror self and I could ever meet, and it’s not like I’m going back to that horror of a universe.”

“I see.” Spock stared, watching as McCoy nervously tapped his fingers on the side of his leg and as he continued to stare at everything besides Spock. “Doctor, if I may ask, what gave you your suspicions that you and your counterpart are so similar?”

“Ever been in a house of mirrors, Spock?” The nonsensical question prompted Spock’s eyebrow quirk, and McCoy frowned before clarifying. “It’s a thing from Terran carnivals. You walk through a house that has mirrors on all the walls, except the mirrors each concave and convex differently, so all the reflections are distorted and dizzying. Now imagine the ion storm being the mirrors and my thoughts being the reflections.”

The Vulcan leaned forward a fraction of an inch. “Fascinating... However, I do not see what could be the cause of that, nor do I see how that would lead you to suspect your counterpart is similar to you...”

“I don’t know either,” the doctor nearly groaned. “But I just get the feeling every time it happens that wherever it is my counterpart is now, he’s suffering from the same thing. Maybe it’s just psychological; maybe something lingering from what your counterpart did, but staring into an actual mirror as soon as I can helps me sort things out. We’ve been lucky all the injuries after the recent ion storms have been minor; I don’t think I’d be able to take care of someone while my thoughts are distorted like that.”

“Hmm...” Spock watched McCoy until the human finally focused his gaze on him again. He scanned the doctor’s face, spying clear signs of fatigue and stress. “That is not a common side effect of a forced mind meld.”

McCoy scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. “Then maybe it’s trauma or something...”

“Doctor,” the Vulcan looked directly at him. “That is not a common side effect,” he reiterated.

McCoy blinked and slowly formed his mouth into a small O. “...Oh, I see. What exactly is this, then...?”

“I am uncertain...” Spock held out his hand, two fingers spread away from his palm, and waited for McCoy to join his fingers to his in a Vulcan kiss. The quick gesture sent a small rush, and Spock lifted his brown eyes to meet McCoy’s blue ones once their hands pulled away. “It is logical to assume it was caused during your time in the mirror universe, and as none of the others are exhibiting similar issues, it likely _is_ from the forced mind meld...”

“But you just don’t know how since this doesn’t normally happen,” McCoy finished.

“Perhaps if you are now comfortable enough, Doctor, I could initiate a mind meld and attempt to find answers to our inquiries." Spock stared directly into Leonard's eyes, showing that he was serious. "I will only do this by means of your full consent, Leonard."

“I don’t think I can just yet, Spock,” McCoy breathed out quietly. “You’re just too similar to your counterpart...”

“...Fascinating.” Spock raised his eyebrow and pulled back slightly. “The captain told me earlier that you claimed my similarities to my counterpart were why you were seeing me for help.”

“...What?” The doctor blinked and glanced up to think back to earlier. “Hmm. I guess I did, didn’t I...?”

“Did you not intend to say that earlier, Doctor?”

“I... I don’t know...” McCoy offered a shrug and no other body language. “Maybe.”

“Leonard, this is very... disconcerting.” Spock steepled his fingers together, watching the doctor and going over the facts in his mind. “I would like to observe you during the next ion storm. If you are not yet comfortable with me entering your mind, then observing your actions will suffice for now in determining more about your condition.”

The human huffed up and crossed his arms. “Don’t call it a ‘condition,’ Spock. It makes it seem like something’s wrong with me.”

“However, Doctor, we are well aware that you are not functioning as normal.” Spock ignored the indignant sputter McCoy gave, and he looked into the doctor’s eyes. “May I proceed to observe you during the next ion storm?”

McCoy narrowed his eyes and slowly dropped his shoulders and shut his eyes, and then blew out his breath as he nodded. “Fine. But don’t get in the way of any work I need to do.”

“Certainly not, Doctor,” Spock nodded. “Sleep well.”

“Yeah, yeah, you too.” McCoy rose and left the room.

Spock watched him walk away and waited for the door to slide shut. “Fascinating,” he mumbled to himself.

Just next door, McCoy slipped out of his boots and his blue shirt, and lowered himself onto his bed, sitting off the side and staring at the wall across from him. His hands gripped the mattress as his mind wandered, and a scene played before his eyes from some automatic fantasy.

_“You did this,”_ he heard himself say to the Spock in front of him. One with a beard and dark eyes and strong hands holding him by the shoulders. _“Fix it,”_ he insisted.

_“I told you I cannot, T’hy’la,”_ the mirror Spock answered. _“It is illogical to continuously repeat this statement.”_

_“He’s ruining me,”_ he protested. _“That damn mirror version of me.”_

_“So you’ve stated, T’hy’la,”_ Mirror Spock replied. _“Indeed, you are not functioning as normal.”_

_“He doesn’t even realize. I need you to fix it, dammit!”_

_“I only can should my counterpart realize what happened.”_ Mirror Spock let go of him and turned away. _“Until then, you will have to live with it.”_

_“Spock! Don’t you dare leave me like this!”_

He blinked and suddenly realized he was on his feet facing the door as if he just watched someone leave. McCoy frowned and shook his head. He dropped back onto bed and took a deep breath, hoping to relax and get some sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

_A mirrored reflection of a mirror itself leads to an idea mistaken._ _  
_ _A reflection of thoughts, reversed and confused, leads to a reality shaken._ _  
_ _One sees another in the wrong form,_   
_So light reflects darkly_ _  
In the oncoming storm._

The next ion storm happened all too soon, and Spock was in Sickbay within minutes of the announcement. McCoy grumbled at the sight of the Vulcan, and he grumbled more once he knocked over his cup of water when the ship rocked to the side. Spock caught the wall to steady himself and then walked over to McCoy once the ship had calmed.

“I tell ya, Spock,” McCoy sighed. He grabbed a towel and dropped it onto the puddle of water. “If I don’t get any patients in here this time, it’ll be a miracle.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “Unfortunately, Doctor, there is a...”

“Stop.” McCoy lifted his eyes to meet Spock’s and frowned at him. “I really don’t think I could handle you giving me any percentages, or ‘logic’, or anything right now.”

“Fascinating...”

“And _that_ falls under ‘anything’.” McCoy stood up and wiped a hand down his face. “Dammit, I hope you find out what’s wrong...”

_“Perhaps you should rest until my mirror self discovers what has happened, T’hy’la.”_ McCoy could feel hands pushing him back down.

“Doctor?” Spock asked, leaning forward slightly. “Is there a reason you just sat down so soon after standing?”

McCoy blinked and looked at Spock. “Didn’t you just tell me to...?”

“I have not instructed you to do anything, Doctor.”

“...Damn.” McCoy frowned and held his fingertips at his temple. “I... I think I might be hearing things.”

“Fascinating.” Spock’s eyebrow went up, and he ignored the scowl on the doctor’s face. “However, perhaps you should rest until we discover what is happening.”

The doctor sighed, shaking his head lightly. “Strangely, that’s very similar to what I heard.” He could hear himself say something in his mind, and he almost mouthed the words to go with it. _“Damn mirror self.”_

_“Yours or mine, Doctor?”_

_“Both.”_

“Both of what?” Spock asked, right beside McCoy, bent over close to him.

McCoy jumped and fell out of his chair. “Dammit, Spock! Warn me before you do that?”

Spock allowed himself a frown, although it was barely there. “I figured you watching my movements was ample warning.” He held out his hand to help McCoy up.

“I wasn’t watching _you,”_ McCoy retorted, gripping the offered hand firmly. Spock pulled him up in a quick motion and helped him back into the chair.

“On the contrary, Doctor,” Spock answered. “I was following your line of sight. Your eyes were following me.”

He stared for a long moment before the ship began to tilt again. McCoy grabbed onto the arms of his chair, and Spock held onto the back of it. McCoy shook his head and let out a sigh, but said nothing else.

Spock watched him and slowly moved a hand onto McCoy’s shoulder. “Doctor McCoy...”

“Mister Spock,” McCoy replied, brow lifted in question.

“I could determine the problem sooner if you could allow me into your mind.”

McCoy pursed his lips and then licked the bottom one nervously. “I can’t let you do that.” He blinked and a thought entered his mind, _“I want you to.”_ His eyes opened to Spock’s frown, an obvious one unlike before, one that made McCoy’s eyebrows knit together accusingly. “Well, what is it?”

“Doctor...” Spock’s frown disappeared as he treaded over his words with care. “Are you aware you just said you desire for me to initiate a mind meld?”

He blinked again, rapidly as he sorted through what Spock said. “No, I... The thought hadn’t even passed through my mind.”

“However it appears to have passed through your lips,” Spock continued. “Think carefully, Doctor... Are you sure you didn’t consider the thought?”

“Why?” McCoy demanded. “Are you going to take that as permission to enter my mind?”

“Of course not, Doctor,” Spock replied calmly. “I am merely forming a hypothesis.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, in _that_ case...” He paused for a moment to think, but the thoughts whirled through his head as reflections, in distorted views as he imagined himself standing to take care of a patient, while strong hands on his shoulders gently lowered him back into his seat.

_“Let another take care of it, T’hy’la.”_ McCoy looked up to see a bearded Spock addressing him, and he blinked and the image faded to the Spock he knew.

Spock removed his hands from McCoy’s shoulders, and one could see deductions passing through his eyes as he observed the Doctor. “Fasci...”

“Spock,” McCoy warned. He glanced at the door. “Strange, I feel like one of the ensigns just came in injured.”

The Vulcan turned without a word and walked through the doorway, returning a moment later with a nod. “Your assumption was correct, though I can see no logical reason for you to have assumed that in the first place.”

“Doctor’s intuition,” McCoy answered. “I should probably take care of them.”

“In your condition, Doctor, it is better if you let another take care of...”

“Stop.” McCoy stood up, hands flat on his desk to support his shaking legs. “That’s the second time you said that... Or... said something similar to... what I heard in my mind...”

Spock watched carefully, and then nodded. “And did you see something in your mind as well?”

He thought back, but the distorted reflections of thoughts swam through his mind again until one stuck out: _“Mirror self, dammit. Mirror self!”_ Before he lost the thought in the sea of others, he copied what he remembered. “Mirror self. Spock, I think I saw your Mirror self.”

“Was he addressing you?”

McCoy’s stomach turned and a grimace overtook his face. The nausea did nothing to help the wave of memories as he suddenly remembered snippets of past scenes. “Yes, he was.”

“Did he call you anything?”

“I think he...” He paused, squinting, and then slowly let his eyes shut. “I think he called me T’hy’la.”

Spock watched McCoy, and then slowly moved his hands behind his back. “I see.” He turned once more and walked through the door without another word.

McCoy watched for a moment, waiting for him to return, but the seconds dragged on without the door opening again. He walked over, almost tripping as the ship tilted once more, and exited his office, looking around for any sign of the Vulcan.

“Mister Spock just left, Doctor,” Nurse Chapel told him.

“...Oh.” McCoy stood awkwardly, staring at the exit to Sickbay and then at his feet. “Could have said... Said...” He choked on his vertigo from the twists of conflicting details—Nurse Chapel was both in his sight and behind him, the patient was both sleeping and awake in pain, the scent of disinfectant engulf him while the scent of blood that wasn’t there swirled around him as well—-and he retreated back into his office quickly, collapsing on his desk, the only familiarity of the moment as he lay pathetic and still. Hands he knew weren’t there massaged his back, offering comfort from a ghost-like source.

_“I told you to relax, T’hy’la. It was illogical for you not to listen.”_

_“Damn your logic.”_ He lifted a hand to smack away the ones on his back, but his hand fell weakly onto the desktop, fingers curling as he let out a sigh. “I just want this to be over.”

_“I estimate the ion storm will cease in 10.34 minutes. Once the alerts are over, use your mirror as usual.”_

“It’s the only thing that helps nowadays,” he muttered, closing his eyes.

10.4 minutes later, McCoy trudged over to his mirror. As his gaze locked with his reflection’s, the distorted thoughts gradually disappeared, and the conflicting details began to match, the sight in his mind the exact same as what he saw in the mirror—mirrored movements, mirrored details, and blank thoughts.

The normality he felt disappointed him in that it could only be achieved in a mirrored world. As soon as the nausea passed, he left to get a drink and some rest.


	4. Chapter 4

_The mirrored wall comes shattering down_ _  
_ _With bad luck seven years around._   
_There’s no glue to repair the bond between pieces._ _  
Each cut from the shards watches as hope ceases._

With McCoy turning in early and Spock taking dinner in his quarters, Kirk was alone in the cafeteria. The captain stared at the empty chairs at his empty table for all of three seconds before he retreated, food in hand, to Spock’s quarters. As soon as he was given permission to enter, he waltzed in and plopped down across from Spock, his food jumping as he dropped his tray from a couple of inches above the table.

“We missed you on the bridge during the ion storm today, Spock,” Kirk nodded, stabbing a potato with his fork.

“Illogical, Captain,” Spock answered as he switched the microtape on his computer. “I was present aboard the ship and able to be contacted in the event of an emergency. Furthermore, Mister Chekov should have acted sufficiently in my stead.”

Kirk grinned and bit into his potato. His eyes trailed down, and he noticed Spock’s food, apparently untouched. He swallowed and set down his fork, looking up at the Vulcan curiously. “Spock, wouldn’t you say it’s illogical not to eat your dinner?”

“I have every intention to consume my meal, Captain, but first I desired to attend to a matter.”

“I see...” Kirk grabbed a microtape and glanced at the label: Vulcan bonds. “And does this matter happen to concern a certain surly doctor of ours?”

Spock paused for a moment, but his expression remained unchanged. Of course, Kirk wouldn’t expect anything less from the Vulcan. Spock looked at Kirk and raised an eyebrow. “Doctor McCoy has divulged some rather... fascinating information.”

Kirk waved his hand for Spock to continue. “About...?”

The Vulcan stayed silent for a moment. The hesitation struck Kirk as oddly foreboding, and he leaned forward to catch what Spock would tell him. Spock met Kirk’s eyes and slowly spoke. “Captain, it seems Doctor McCoy is... hearing my mirror self talking to him.”

“Talking to him?” Kirk shot up straight. “As in... inside his mind?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“But how?” Kirk looked at the microtape in his hands, thinking back to what Spock had told him in the past about such things. “They would need a bond, if one could be strong enough to allow that. Across parallel universes...”

“I... am aware, Captain.”

“And, if I remember correctly, you haven’t even set up a bond with McCoy yet.”

“Captain,” Spock interrupted, almost upset if it weren’t for his stoicism. “According to Doctor McCoy, my mirror self has been calling him ‘T’hy’la’.”

“The Vulcan word for lover...” Kirk mused.

“It has no true meaning in the English language,” Spock reminded. “However, this is a pressing matter...”

“It means Mirror Spock stole your boyfriend, doesn’t it?” Kirk asked as his brow furrowed. “I can see the problem.”

“I’m afraid it is deeper than that,” Spock answered. “As you recall, my counterpart forced a mind meld with our McCoy. It is likely this is when the bond happened, and his insistence on calling Doctor McCoy his T’hy’la implies he intended to make this bond. However, the bond is forced, and the nature of it is clearly what is causing Doctor McCoy distress.”

Kirk nodded. “And the proximity of ion storms makes the connection stronger since that brings us closer to their Enterprise.”

“The logical assumption, Captain,” Spock agreed with a nod. “However, Doctor McCoy does not seem to realize he is bonded with my counterpart. Neither does he want me entering his mind, possibly due to my counterpart’s influence to keep the connection private.”

Humming in thought, Kirk pushed his food around his plate before taking another bite. After he swallowed, he looked up at Spock again. “Why our McCoy? If our two McCoys are so similar, then why didn’t he just force a bond with his own?”

“I am uncertain,” Spock admitted. “Indeed, even if he had thought our doctor was the one from his universe when he initiated the meld, there was no logic in sending our McCoy back to this universe after the bond was created.”

Kirk lifted his brow in surprise. “Spock, are you saying you jumped to the conclusion that these two are bonded without all the facts?”

Spock hesitated again. “The facts are there, Captain... There is simply not enough at the time to determine a reason, although it is obvious what the issue is.”

“But are you sure?” Kirk pressed on. “One-hundred percent sure? Or are you letting your feelings for our fair doctor hinder you for once? It must be upsetting that a parallel version of you appears to be calling your beloved ‘T’hy’la’ before you ever did. And for him to be bonded as well...”

“I am a Vulcan,” Spock countered. “I do not get upset. There is logic behind my assumption...”

“But it’s merely an assumption and without enough facts to be proven,” Kirk finished. They lapsed into silence, allowing Kirk time to eat the rest of his meal while Spock continued to go through his microtapes. Once Kirk was done, he set down his fork and sighed. “It’s a good thing Bones is asleep. He’d have a field day with how emotional your assumption is, especially concerning him.”

“On the contrary,” Spock answered, strangely quiet. “He’d be concerned over how emotional it is.”

Kirk let out a low hum and merely watched silently as Spock went to the next microtape. “Well... If he is bonded to your counterpart, what do we do about it?”

“That is what I’m researching now, Captain,” Spock answered with a small nod. “I will report my findings in the morning.”

“Great. And, when do we tell Bones what you think is happening?”

“...I would appreciate it if you would disclose that information with the doctor.”

Kirk nodded. He understood the need for Spock to save face. “Very well. I’ll do that first thing in the morning.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Spock nodded in return.

“Well, I better get some shut-eye then.” Kirk picked up his things and stood up. “Good night, Mister Spock.”

“Captain,” Spock said one final time in farewell. Kirk left, and Spock continued to research, and the food at Spock’s side remained untouched until it was finally discarded.

McCoy walked through his door to go get some breakfast, but he instead saw Kirk right in front of him. That smile was too bright for that early in the morning, but the coffee Kirk offered him was just the right amount of darkness he liked. Kirk ushered McCoy back into his room and sat him down, setting down a tray of food. Kirk took his own plate and left the rest for McCoy to take.

He didn’t question what was going on and instead ate his food and drank his coffee until the caffeine kicked in to let him think about what Kirk had just done. While unusual, this wasn’t the first time Kirk made him take breakfast in his own quarters, and it usually meant the same thing every time. Kirk had something to tell him, something he would hate, and he didn’t want the doctor to make a fool of himself when he heard the shocking news.

He sighed and set down his coffee. Leaning back in his chair, he raised an eyebrow as Kirk avoided his gaze. “...Well, Jim? What is it this time?”

Kirk glanced up, smiling almost nervously. “Spock has a...” He hesitated a moment to think over his words. “Well, a theory about what may be wrong with you.”

“Wrong with me, huh?” McCoy asked, frowning.

Kirk flinched. “Not like that, Bones. But you must admit, something’s been affecting you lately.”

McCoy sighed and nodded. “Alright then... What is it?”

“Spock has the theory that... you’re bonded to his parallel self.”

Just like that, McCoy’s eyebrow lifted in an almost Vulcan-like fashion. “Jim, don’t you think I’d know if I were bonded to him?”

He could only shrug before offering his suggestion. “Spock seems to think that because it’s forced that... Well...”

“Doesn’t matter,” McCoy argued. “It’d still work both ways instead of leaving me seeing two things at once each ion storm. There’s got to be some other reason. Hallucinations, maybe as a side effect from the...”

“Mind meld?” Kirk finished. “That seems to be what started it, yes, but Spock’s concerned given how you’re hearing his counterpart call you T’hy’la. He thinks his counterpart’s influence is what’s keeping you from letting Spock in to see for sure.”

“As opposed to my own hesitance?” McCoy snapped in return. “Do you really think I’d want someone in here again so soon?” He tapped the side of his head. “After what happened? I can’t even sort out my own thoughts, and I don’t want someone else in there.”

Kirk blinked nervously and tried to answer, but the words fell short. He shook his head and looked up to try again. “Bones...? Was that... necessary...?”

McCoy took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he sank into his chair. “No, it wasn’t. Sorry, Jim, just... This whole thing has me on edge. I don’t want to think it’s worse than I thought, with me being _bonded_ to that bearded reflection of my own boyfriend.”

He reached over and patted the doctor’s shoulder. “C’mon, Bones, Spock’s looking into how to fix it. He said he’d tell me what he could find this morning. Let’s go see what he’s figured out.”

Nodding, McCoy stood up. He took a step and then paused, turning towards Kirk with a frown. “Just a moment, Jim... You said this was just a theory?”

Kirk stopped, having made it just before the door when McCoy addressed him. “Well... Yes, we can’t be certain what’s going on just yet...”

“So, did Spock tell you the margin of error? Or give you a detailed explanation why he thinks this? Or anything else Spock-like? I told him I heard his counterpart call me T’hy’la and then he practically ran out and jumped to this conclusion. Don’t you think _that’s_ odd in itself?”

“Bones...” Kirk hesitated and then shook his head as he answered. “You know how Mister Spock is...”

“Exactly.” McCoy crossed his arms over his chest. “He’s not one to be so _illogical._ He should know there’s no logical reason for his counterpart to bond with me and then send me back here. And what I heard could have been from different reasons. Maybe, God forbid, I developed a brain tumor or something. Why would he go straight to _that_ thought without all the facts?”

“He’s worried about you, Bones.” Sighing, the captain shrugged helplessly. “You two are dating each other. Of course he’d be concerned about you.”

“But to act so illogically?” McCoy continued. “And why couldn’t he tell me himself? Why send you?”

“Bones...” Kirk said nothing more, his eyes pleading as McCoy’s widened in realization.

“Oh...” McCoy frowned, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. “He didn’t want me to see, then... That he _is_ being irrational... Emotional for once. Dammit, Spock...”

“We should see what Spock proposes as a solution,” Kirk urged again, glancing up to make sure McCoy would follow this time.

McCoy nodded. “Right. I still don’t think he’s right, though... Wouldn’t you think I’d know if I were bonded?”

“Why don’t we see what Spock says and maybe we can work it out then...”


	5. Chapter 5

_What knowledge in the mirror cries, when blindness reflects my next demise?_ _  
__Dark and staring, jealous, glaring at my reflection for its sound lies._  
 _But as I judge, I cannot see_ _  
What my reflection thinks of me._

McCoy followed Kirk, lost in his own thoughts as they walked. Clear and manageable, unlike the instances during ion storms, McCoy could search through his memory for any clue about Spock’s assumption, whether or not it was accurate. There had to be some connection to the mirror Vulcan if they _were_ bonded, some way McCoy would know of his presence in his mind, yet the only time he could recall hearing what he thought was Mirror Spock was after his Spock questioned him and he focused enough against the whirling imagery to pick out the words and scenes.

He could understand the reasoning behind the assumption if Kirk were the one to make it, but Spock? There simply wasn’t enough evidence to come to that conclusion. As much as he typically enjoyed seeing Spock attempt a balance of emotion and logic, the fact that the emotion appeared to be affecting his logic… Well, it was disconcerting.

He followed the captain into a research lab where Spock sat, going through data of some sort. Spock barely glanced up at them as they entered, but still nodded in a quick greeting.

“Captain. Doctor.”

“Mister Spock,” Kirk nodded in return. “Did you find any more information on that… thing we were discussing?”

“Indeed, Captain, however limited it is.” Spock looked up at them, or rather looked up at Kirk and avoided meeting McCoy’s eyes. “Forced bonds are highly uncommon in our universe, as you can imagine, however there have been some instances in the past. They can be highly taxing for the victim, however Doctor McCoy seems to be spared in most instances as the contact was brief enough to only form a light bond that is only strongest during ion storms.”

“So you’re not even going to address me directly, Spock?” McCoy asked, lifting his brow in question. “You won’t even look at me.”

Spock shifted his gaze onto McCoy for a moment. “Doctor, I would like to continue my explanation.”

“For what?” McCoy countered. “What makes you so sure it’s a forced bond?”

“...My counterpart called you T’hy’la and you could sense him in your mind.”

“A hallucination, then.” He shook his head. “Maybe I caught a virus or something.”

Spock raised his brow in return. “That only affects you during ion storms?”

“Stranger things have happened,” Kirk offered, shrugging.

“Exactly,” McCoy nodded his agreement. “Besides, wouldn’t I know if I were bonded to him? It was bad enough having him in my mind once, but I’d know if he were still there, wouldn’t I?”

Spock eyed the Captain and then focused on McCoy again. “That may be, Doctor, however, in your argument you have disregarded the facts. Your symptoms only occur during ion storms, which, by my research, is the point in which we are closest to the parallel universe. Furthermore, based on what you have told me…”

McCoy shook his head. “I only told you one thing that could possibly link whatever’s happening to your counterpart, and then you walked out without a word and I had to hear from Jim what the problem is.” He jutted a thumb towards Kirk who raised his hands and stepped away, wanting to stay out of it. “I think I’d know the facts better than you, Spock, sorry to say. It’s _my_ mind. And even with what you do know, that’s no reason to jump to conclusions.” He looked at Spock, straight in the eye, frowning at him. “Are you really letting _emotions_ get the better of you? Affect your reasoning like that?”

Spock frowned, only slightly, not displaying any immediate emotion unless one could read him as well as Kirk and McCoy. “Doctor, I see no reason for you to insult me when I am only trying to help you.”

“How is it an insult if it’s true?” McCoy snapped at him, dropping his arms down by his side and huffing up. “Dammit, Spock, I’m worried about you! Just because I thought I heard someone call me T’hy’la you… You…” His tight expression loosened, though a frown remained, and he shook his head. “So that’s it.”

“Bones…?” Kirk asked, eyes darting from the doctor to the Vulcan in search for a way to mediate.

“You think I’m damaged goods, don’t you?”

Spock stood up, almost like he was affronted by the accusation. If he was, he disguised it by organizing the things on the table. “Doctor, you are being highly illogical.”

“Am I, Spock?” McCoy challenged, taking a step forward. “The moment I told you what I heard—what I _thought_ I heard— you walked out without a word. Didn’t even tell me what was wrong and you jump straight to me being bonded to someone else. Why else would Jim tell me unless you were avoiding me? And you wouldn’t even look at me until I pointed it out. You’re showing emotion because you think your mirror self bonded with me before you could! So what, you’re jealous that someone else got to me before you? Jim, where are you going?”

Kirk stepped back away from the door, though he tried to avoid looking at both Spock and McCoy. Spock frowned, a more noticeable one than before, and he stared at McCoy warily.

“Doctor, it is illogical to think of bonding as a race,” Spock retorted calmly, an edge of irritation lingering just under his tone. “Furthermore, I am not jealous, merely concerned about your well-being—”

“Hogwash!” McCoy countered. “If you really were, you wouldn’t be so obsessed with the idea that I could be bonded and would be thinking of all possible solutions. You’re just worried about how you can’t bond with me!”

“Bones…” Kirk pleaded. He shut up as soon as McCoy glared at him. 

“Well, Doctor,” Spock folded his hands behind his back. “Perhaps we could prove this if you were willing to let me initiate a mind meld. However, it seems that my counterpart’s influence is preventing this in order to preserve the bond.”

McCoy narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “Or maybe I just don’t want anyone in my mind right now, especially someone who looks so much like _him_. Doesn’t mean there’s a bond. He didn’t do anything.”

Spock drew his lips together tightly and lifted his brow. “If that is the case, then why are you defending him?”

“I’m not!”

The Vulcan looked straight into McCoy’s eyes, his own dark and calculating and in that moment they seemed to mirror his mirror self’s. “Are you sure of that, Doctor?”

McCoy faltered for a moment before glancing to how nervous Kirk was and remembering his environment. He hardened his look and returned Spock’s gaze. “Yes.” With that, he turned and walked out into the hallway just as a crowd of crewman rushed away from the door and out of his way.

Kirk gaped like a fish and stared after McCoy before taking a quick glance at Spock and rushing out as well. He let the door close behind him and adjusted his shirt as he looked around at the questioning eyes of the lingering crewmen. “Back to your posts,” he commanded before hurrying after McCoy.

Spock stood still for a moment longer before lowering himself back into his seat and breathing deeply, calmly. He began to return to his research, ignoring just how much his hands were shaking, just how right McCoy was. But whatever the problem was, it seemed to be driving them all apart.


	6. Chapter 6

_Once having reflected on one’s actions,_ _  
_ _One can repair a shatter, if only by fractions._ _  
_ _But the cobwebs of glass still show what had occurred,_   
_Until one will polish the mirror_ _  
And remove what was blurred._

McCoy paced back and forth in his office, casting nervous glances to the mirror hanging on the wall. Perhaps it was wrong of him to have gotten so upset with Spock. The Vulcan was only trying to help after all, and he clearly was concerned if he was allowing himself to get emotional over it. But it infuriated McCoy that Spock would think of him like that, like he was damaged. Not necessarily because that truly was what Spock thought... but because he had been sitting with the worry of being considered disloyal for some time.

He had waited far too long and let the lie grow way too large, and there was no easy way to explain himself now, nor a way to explain himself without him feeling like he betrayed Spock.

He stepped in front of the mirror and stared into his reflection, imagining for a moment that it was in fact his mirror self. “What do you think?” he asked. “What should I do?”

_“Let him meld with you.”_ A logical enough response, but one he was unsure he could follow. _“Idiot.”_

McCoy pulled back, blinking in confusion at his reflection, wondering just where _that_ came from. He sighed, shaking his head, and moving to sit at his desk. “Well, I’m certainly on the path to insanity here.”

“Need some help stepping off it?”

McCoy looked up and smiled. “Why hello, Mister Scott.”

“Doctor McCoy,” Scotty nodded, taking a seat in front of McCoy. “You haven’t been well since that parallel universe fiasco, I've heard.”

McCoy deflated, slumping his shoulders. “I’m not sure if I want to talk about this...”

“It would do you some good,” Scotty answered, leaning forward. “Looking in a mirror every ion storm. Yelling at Mister Spock. Word travels fast around here. Remember, the captain’s not the only one who went with you to that universe. I saw what that other Spock was like as well.”

“And how does it help if you did?” McCoy asked, lifting his brow. “No offense, Scotty, but I don’t think you know enough about Vulcan culture to help.”

“Aye, but I can offer another point of view.” Scotty smiled and leaned back again, relaxing. “If that’s fine with you. But you know, as an engineer, I can spot things others miss. Wouldn’t want a ship falling apart because someone didn’t see that a screw was loose.”

McCoy rolled his eyes. “Fine then. What do you already know? We’ll go from there.”

“I know you were out of it once that other Spock brought you into the transporter room,” Scotty started. “And you weren’t much better when we got back to our Enterprise. But you were making jokes soon after, weren’t you? Despite what Mirror Spock did to you?”

McCoy licked his bottom lip nervously. “Is that another thing that everyone’s heard about?”

Scotty shook his head. “Just the landing party and, I assume, Mister Spock. It’s a pretty easy assumption to make. And that’s what everyone’s been doing. Assuming.” He leaned forward, looking directly at McCoy, and lowered his voice. “You know I’m your friend. You can trust me. I would rather not assume what the parallel Spock did, not because I don’t want it to be true, but because unless you say for certain, we have no proof what happened. And assuming wrong gets us the wrong solution, doesn’t it?”

He didn’t answer or move at all and instead continued to stare into Scotty’s eyes, searching them for their intent and only seeing knowing concern. At his silence, Scotty continued.

“You’re right, I don’t know much about Vulcan culture. Not enough when we have a Vulcan on board. But the Captain told me what he knows, and asked me to talk with you. It’s odd that you haven’t let Mister Spock meld with you if that’s the only way to help you. Not if, after so long, your only lingering problem is whatever you use that mirror for.”

McCoy shook his head. “Spock said that’s not a normal side effect of a forced mind meld.”

Scotty nodded. “Exactly.” He looked at McCoy, making sure he was listening. “You have to be honest then,” he urged. “To yourself and to Mister Spock. Was it forced?”

McCoy held his head with his hand, gripping his hair lightly and shaking his head. “He just looked so much like our Spock... That’s why I couldn’t leave him to die in the first place. What if letting him die there killed our Spock...? And then he got me against the bulkhead and... It was frightening, I could see it wasn’t Spock, but he was only doing what was logical for that world and...” He let out a sigh, slumping in defeat. “You’re right. In the end, he didn’t have to force his way in.”

“Aye... I thought so...” Scotty frowned and pulled back again. “You should tell Mister Spock, at the very least. He deserves to know.”

“I know.” McCoy wrung his hands together. “But Spock already thinks I’m bonded with his counterpart. If he finds out that I willingly let him meld with me...”

“Do you trust Mister Spock?” Scotty asked.

McCoy frowned and nodded. “Of course.”

“Then you have to tell him,” Scotty answered. “For your health and his.” He got up and reached over the desk to pat McCoy’s shoulder. “Good luck.”

McCoy watched Scotty walk away, and he sat there for a long while before getting up and heading to the bridge. As soon as he walked in, all eyes were on him, save for Spock who stayed focused on his work and Kirk who averted his gaze as soon as he saw who it was. McCoy cringed, but he should have expected their stares after the rumors spread about what he had been yelling at Spock about this time. He passed by Uhura, noticing out of the corner of his eye that she had a look of understanding, and he approached Spock, clearing his throat gently.

“Do you have a reason to be on the bridge, Doctor?” Spock asked, almost harshly. McCoy felt anger rising before he observed the words closer and caught the tiredness barely tinting the Vulcan’s tone.

“I’ll be quick, Mister Spock,” McCoy answered, calming himself. “There is... Well, something I need to tell you. In private, of course, if you can take the time later.”

Spock didn’t look up, but McCoy could see him glancing at him subtly. “Is that so, Doctor?”

“Yes, I... I think it will help with your theories on what is affecting me.”

“I see...” Spock stood straighter, actually casting him a look now. “May we schedule a meeting in my quarters after my shift?”

McCoy nodded. “Certainly. I will see you later, Mister Spock.”

“Doctor,” Spock said as a farewell before turning back to his work.

As he turned to walk away, McCoy caught Kirk watching him. He shared the glance and then shook his head. Kirk looked to the yeoman next to him to discuss something, and McCoy left the bridge to return to Sickbay.

Later, McCoy paced outside Spock’s door until the Vulcan approached him and allowed him into his quarters. McCoy silently followed him in and they sat together, letting the moment pass without words until McCoy found the nerve to speak.

“I’ve... Not been completely honest, Spock,” McCoy admitted at last. “About what happened in the mirror universe with me and your counterpart.” He looked away as Spock shifted, and hurried to continue. “I still don’t think we’re bonded, of course, so you don’t have to worry about that. But I hadn’t told you sooner because I was worried you’d think poorly of me for doing what I did despite the circumstances...”

“Leonard,” Spock said, lightly touching McCoy’s hand. “It would be beneficial for both of us for you to be honest. I understand that humans are more prone to hiding things through lies when they risk negative responses.”

“I just didn’t want you to think I was disloyal,” McCoy mumbled, leaning into Spock. “So I didn’t want you melding with me and seeing that your counterpart didn’t... It wasn’t a forced mind meld, Spock. I let him in.”

Spock looked down at him, silent for a long moment. McCoy held his breath, only letting it out when Spock spoke again. “That does explain why you are not exhibiting the normal symptoms of a forced mind meld. I expected something like this, however, as you had not denied the mind meld was forced, I was left to assume that this wasn't the case. Although, I do not understand why you were unresponsive as you were returning from the parallel universe.”

“You expected...?” McCoy sat up and shook his head, letting the subject go. “I don’t know why either. It was easier to let him in, but I figured afterwards that I was scared stiff of him regardless. But I think... I think I was dizzy at that moment as well. I could hardly focus on where he was taking me or what was happening until we were back in our universe and the ion storm had passed.”

“Were you experiencing that ‘house of mirrors’ scenario, as you put it before?” Spock asked.

McCoy pursed his lips for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah. Now that I think about it, that was when it started, before we even came back here.”

“So then it is safe to assume that something in the mirror universe caused your situation, even if it was not a forced mind meld.” Spock looked over him, as if examining him. “Fascinating... Doctor, now that you have shared the truth, would you be comfortable with me initiating a mind meld to find out more...?”

“Well...” McCoy looked into Spock’s eyes, and then held out his hand, extending two fingers. After Spock pressed his own fingers against his, McCoy answered. “Do me a favor... Let’s do it during the next ion storm.”

Spock nodded. “Most logical, Doctor. That is when we may find out the most...”


	7. Chapter 7

_While a mirror never lies_ _  
_ _Truth depends on one’s eyes,_   
_But when one can foresee a better reflection,_ _  
One can take steps towards the proper correction._

“It’ll be bumpy for the next few hours or so,” Kirk pointed out, leaning the side of his chair to focus on Spock. “You know how ion storms are.”

“Indeed, Captain,” Spock nodded. “However, our passage through the ion storm is the best opportunity to determine what is afflicting the doctor.”

Kirk shook his head. “Both my First Officer and Chief Medical Officer out of commission during the biggest ion storm we’ve faced the past few months... Very well, Mister Spock. Just do your best not to bump your heads, and see about fixing the good ol’ doctor, alright?”

“Of course, Captain.” Spock nodded once more and left the bridge.

Sighing, Kirk pressed the communications button on his armrest. “Kirk to Sickbay.”

“McCoy here,” came the response. “I’m guessing Spock is on his way now?”

“I expect he’ll be there in the next few minutes,” Kirk answered. “Will you two be alright during the storm?”

“We’ve got a set-up to keep us secure, and M’Benga and Christine will be checking in to make sure we’re fine.” McCoy sighed. “Honestly Jim, I’m just ready for this to be taken care of.”

“I’ll leave you to it then...” Kirk rubbed his forehead nervously. “Kirk out.”

McCoy stood and paced back and forth in his office, lips tight together in a frown. He let his focus drift away, and he blinked, and in the next moment could imagine the mirror Spock watching him closely.

_“You should relax, T’hy’la,”_ the mirror Spock admonished. _“Be patient. Even when my counterpart initiates a mind meld, we still need to find a solution.”_

_“Don’t tell me to be patient!”_ McCoy snapped in return, glaring at the Vulcan. _“It’s your damn fault this happened! You’re not the one who had to live with it this whole time.”_

Mirror Spock didn’t react to the outburst and instead stiffened his back, gazing at McCoy stoically. _“It may be of danger to have so many in your mind at once. Perhaps I should merely observe and leave you to tell my counterpart what has happened.”_

McCoy paused with a small cringe and dropped his shoulders in defeat. _“Spock, don’t do this to me. I need you to help me. So, dammit, you better help me!”_

_“My point still stands, Doctor,”_ Mirror Spock answered, taking McCoy’s hands into his own. _“I will be nearby if needed, but initially I must not interfere.”_

“Doctor?”

McCoy jolted, nearly falling back as the ship lurched, but Spock’s grip saved him from falling. He righted himself and ran his fingers through his hair, resting his palm on his forehead. “Sorry about that Spock. I wasn’t paying attention.”

Spock watched him carefully before giving a slow nod. “Indeed. Are you ready to start?”

“As I’ll ever be,” McCoy mumbled.

They got to their chairs and strapped themselves in, just in time for the ship to tilt once again. McCoy took a deep breath and then did his best to smile at Spock. “Let’s get this over with.”

Spock lifted his hand, gently placing his fingers on specific spots along McCoy’s face. “My mind to your mind,” he began. “My thoughts to your thoughts.”

His consciousness projected into a visualization of McCoy’s mind, and Spock nearly grounded himself from the sheer state of chaos of everything around him. He hesitated to wander through, the risk of getting lost amidst the thoughts prevalent. Everything seemed to reflect back on itself in distorted patterns, the hall of mirrors McCoy had so aptly described.

Spock pressed forward, doing his best to form a logical path to the problem, searching for the representation of McCoy’s consciousness as he went. “Doctor?” he called out, straining for a response.

“Over here!” McCoy’s voice cried from two separate directions.

“Fascinating...” Spock said to himself, stopping at a crossroads in his path. “How am I to know which direction to go?”

“Stay where you are!” one of the voices called out.

Spock waited, on guard in the event of an intruder in McCoy’s mind. The being manifested along one of the paths, a man with McCoy’s face but with a gold sash around his waist, and an air of anger about him, clearly not the real McCoy—or at least, not _his_ McCoy.

“About time you got in here,” the imposter ground out. “Do you know how long I’ve been having to deal with all of this?” He motioned widely to the thoughts around him.

He raised his eyebrow and came to a quick conclusion. “You are the other McCoy, from the universe parallel to mine.”

Mirror McCoy nodded. “Yep. I can tell you what my Spock told me to say, but he’s not here to remind me of everything. Something about not wanting so many people in here at the same time.”

“Logical, as that would be detrimental to your health,” Spock answered. “It is dangerous enough to have three people in a mind meld at the same time.”

“I know,” Mirror McCoy replied, furrowing his brow. “Alright, from what I understand, you and your McCoy aren’t bonded, right?”

Spock frowned only slightly, but nodded all the same. “That is correct.”

“But I am with my Spock,” he continued. “So he was able to see what the problem was once I came back to my universe and he told me then, but I assume that’s why we had to wait for this mind meld so you could find out and tell your McCoy.” He sighed and wiped his hand down his face before picking up again. “Spock- My Spock- Thinks that because I’m so similar to my counterpart, that when Spock melded with him, our bond somehow linked my mind with my mirror self’s.” Mirror McCoy shook his head in disgust. “I _tried_ getting him to mind meld with you sooner, but for whatever damn reason, it took him long enough to get you to do it and see the damage.”

“This is a precarious situation,” Spock observed. “This link has been affecting my McCoy, and I can only assume it has been affecting you as well. But I have never heard of such a thing occurring before...”

“I don’t think it has,” Mirror McCoy sighed. “But that doesn’t mean you can just leave it. I have my Spock trying to figure out how to disconnect us safely, but it’s next to impossible if you can’t do the same on your end with my counterpart. You _need_ to do something, though. I can’t keep living with him in my head, and Spock is probably tired of my complaining by now also.”

“Fascinating...” Spock mused. “Has your Spock determined anything in regards to a solution?”

“He’s talked to various telepathic healers, but none of them have anything that can help us,” Mirror McCoy answered, tapping his lip with the side of his finger as he thought. “Except for one species, Geminians... I don’t know much about them, but on our end, the Empire wiped most of them out and the remaining ones went into hiding... Spock thinks he tracked a small group down to a class-M asteroid in the same solar system as their homeworld, but if they’ve been hiding this long so close to home without anyone finding them before now, it’ll be hard for us to track them down.”

“I shall look into their status in my universe as well,” Spock replied, nodding in thanks. “Is there any other information that could be of use?”

The Mirror McCoy nodded, staring directly at Spock and letting out a small breath. “Just one last thing. Spock has this hypothesis... Since the link started with your McCoy, getting the two of us separated again is hitched on fixing it on _your_ end more than on ours. So, you beardless computer, you _better_ take care of it.”

Spock stared, calm and stoic. “I do not believe you are in the best of positions to make threats. Nonetheless, I will do what I can. Now that I know the exact problem, finding a solution should be easier.”

Mirror McCoy snorted. “Hasn’t been easy on our end.”

“I didn’t say it would be easy, Doctor,” Spock answered. “Simply that it would be easier than it had been before.”

Mirror McCoy stared at him, his face contorting angrily. He then threw up his hands before turning and disappearing down his path.

Spock removed his hands from McCoy’s face, opening his eyes in time to see his McCoy shaking his head as if to clear it. “Doctor, shall I relay the information I have acquired?”

“Save it, Spock,” McCoy groaned, grabbing onto his head. “I managed to hear most of it. I gotta say, having you in there really settled things down for once... I didn’t even know...”

“It does explain those visions you’ve had of my parallel self as well as your contradicting decisions,” Spock added. He unstrapped himself from his chair and then helped McCoy to his feet. “However, this does not explain your apparent amnesia of what you see and hear from your parallel self’s mind.”

“Hopefully we still have time to figure this out before I end up making some vital mistake,” McCoy sighed, leaning on Spock for support. “What was that species he said? Geminians?”

“Indeed. I suggest we report to the Captain before looking in the computer database for information on this species.” Spock guided McCoy away. “The ion storm appears to have ended now, in any case.”

McCoy nodded and followed along at Spock’s pace. “Spock...?”

“Yes, Doctor?”

“Thanks for helping me,” McCoy uttered quietly. “If I hadn’t lied earlier, maybe we could have taken care of this sooner.”

“Regardless, we are in the midst of ‘taking care’ of it now,” Spock assured him. “And it is only right that I aid my t’hy’la.”

“Do you think we’ll ever bond?” McCoy blurted out. “Like our mirror selves?”

Spock looked at McCoy. “If you so desire, I would not be opposed to the decision.”

“Let’s wait until after the five-year mission, maybe,” McCoy determined. “And, well... After this, too.” He tapped the side of his head.

“Indeed,” Spock agreed. “For now, let us report to the captain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last finished chapter for what I had written from when I first wrote this fic years ago. Most likely I won't continue it past this point, but thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed what I was able to share regardless. ♥


End file.
